How do I write about Amma's dark sides? It opens up such a can of worms. I only want to remember her good times. But not openly talking about what happened to her, and what she did to others, lets me live in her pain for a longer time. I think Didi and I both should write about her openly. 

Her story is not just of her mistakes or bad choices. But how she lived day after day, after having gone through trauma, pain, darkness and was such sunshine in our lives. 

The dark moments were unbearable. More for her, because she lived through it the next day, the day after. Like the time after maama.